So now that our nefarious plan has been revealed, I feel compelled to expand on our confession by explaining why we would want to destroy the university. I have spent a total of 12 years pursuing three college degrees and have taught at Chicago State University, Governors State and UIC during the past 23 years. I am obviously not a fan of higher education and clearly not higher education in public institutions. The dozen or so of my former students who have completed terminal degrees and are in the world are the reason that I continue my destructive pursuits. Corrupting their minds and convincing them of the importance of higher education is all but one element of this complex plan. How could it have been me who helped inspire them to pursue degrees beyond the baccalaureate level? Those students were just unwitting pawns in my game to destroy the university to point that "they" would take over CSU.
Yes, loyal readers, I have secretly been in "their" employ. "They" recruited me long ago, knowing that I would position myself at CSU in such a way that the power to do "their" bidding would eventually be mine. As a lowly associate professor, I could hide within the folds of the university corrupting the minds of both my students and unsuspecting colleagues. Some of these colleagues I even convinced to participate in our plan for CSU domination. "They" never told me why "they" wanted CSU. I believe it was to thwart the exponentially increasing political, social and economic power of the African-American community in Chicago and in Illinois. This priceless gem of higher education excellence was obviously producing too many graduates and with the addition of the College of Pharmacy, it was decided that the time was right for “them” to control the incredible power that is CSU.
Our power to influence our weak minded colleagues has been documented extensively by the Watson administration at our direction. Our manipulation of multiple media outlets has been remarkably successful though the recent shooting of a civilian by the police chief did go unreported at our direction. The public need not see all of our evil machinations.
To my faculty colleagues, the time is right to join us in destroying the university. Forget the hours of instruction given, personal time sacrificed, students inspired, institutions and communities served. Forget your research agenda, grantsmanship, publication. Forgo the service to your departments, colleges and university. Join Bionaz and me as we continue to drive the university into irrelevance.
I feel relieved to have shared this confession. It's freeing knowing that even though you, loyal readers, know that Bionaz and I are actually controlling events at CSU, it won't matter because in the end, "they" will have the university.